My Truth Surfaces

As most people who are overweight, I have wrestled with it forever. You diet, you lose weight, life gets hectic, you lose track, the weight goes back on. You try different things, you find things that work, but old habits take control... and on and on.

I thought I'd made peace with my larger body, and maybe I just didn't care about the weight anymore, but the other day my guides said to me, It's not that you don't care, it's that you've made peace with the delusion that you won't really ever lose the weight and so long as that is your belief, you never will.

I am a big believer in the law of attraction and I saw the truth in that the second I heard it.

It hit me very hard, but because I have stayed exactly the same weight for the past two years, because I already lost seventy pounds and my body doesn't ache anymore, because my last two boyfriends did a great job shaming me --to the point I'm uncomfortable dating now, somewhere along the line I gave up the desire to lose it and along with it the desire to find real love.

It's not that I don't know how to lose weight, I absolutely do, but I accepted that this is just my body and the only way to really change it would be to take it on like a full time job and it was too far down on the priority list for that, so here I am, fat, take me or leave me. The last month however my truth has been banging against the door where I locked it and it's finally broken free...

I DON'T WANT TO BE OVERWEIGHT ANYMORE!

So here's the deal,
I don't like being fat, and I'm using that word on purpose because I don't like the word, but I'm done "being nice" to myself here. I'm done coddling myself, pretending it's okay I weight about a hundred pounds more than is healthy for me. I'm done pretending that I don't mind that I can't buy clothes at the trendy shops I love. I'm done pretending that I feel just as sexy at this weight as I used to at a size 8. I'm done telling myself that my age is a factor, that I was always going to end up here because all the women in my family were overweight when I was growing up. I'm done telling myself it doesn't matter when it does!

It's time for a priority shift.

I talk all the time about putting ourselves first, well it's time I do the same.

This is one area of my life that I have left on a side burner too long. If the only way to lose it is to take it on like a full time job, then I guess I just got a full time job and the salary will be pounds lost!

I am telling you all right now that between now and the end of this summer, this is my top priority. I will work my ass off, do whatever I need to to lose this weight through diet and exercise, through properly nourishing my body, by being active, taking on yoga and swimming every day, by being faithful to myself and making me the priority.

My goal is set very high, but I'll also be using the law of attraction here and I have every belief that I will be successful.

I will be charting my journey here and posting everyday a food and weight loss mantra as well as letting you know where I'm at on the journey, foods I'm enjoying, tricks and tips I discover and the struggles as well. I hope it will help someone else, but honestly, I'm being selfish, sharing publicly will help me stay focused and in the end be more successful.

Don't get me wrong, my intention is not to go on some extreme diet, my intention is to transform, my body, my health and my life. So here we go...

My weight loss journey from three years ago ~