How many times have you heard that?
While that's true, I'd go one step further and say that true beauty comes from being honest with yourself and living authentically. I believe true beauty comes from being 100% comfortable in your skin and the only way to reach that level of comfort, is to be authentic. To let down all the walls and facades, to release all the voices in your head that fill your mind with shoulds and musts, and connect truly, deeply, with yourself.
Here's where it may get uncomfortable...
If you are unhappy in your life, I'd bet money, you're most likely overweight. Being overweight in and of itself does not guarantee unhappiness. I've spent most of my adult life overweight and I've had moments of extreme happiness. However, we are a species that medicates our pain and dissatisfaction and the easiest medication, especially for a busy woman, is food. We comfort ourselves with it, we celebrate with it, we beat ourselves up over it. It's a very complicated messy circle and while you may be overweight and happy, I don't believe someone can be completely satisfied with their life and overweight.
Sure, we'll say we are, but I have one rule here, no one else has to know, but I want you to be honest with you! Unless and until you are ready and willing for that step, then you aren't ready for change. That's okay, in your time you will be, but the rest of this post, is for people who are there, who can be honest about their weight and the satisfaction of their life and are ready to make a change!
Ready for more?
Then lets get started...
In the modeling world, "plus size" starts at a size 8 and pretty much ends at a 12! This infuriates me because I know first hand how much of a struggle dealing with food and body image issues can be and when you hear plus size is an 8, if you're a 20+, it can make you feel like the weight you have to lose is insurmountable and even if you lost any of it, it wouldn't be good enough.
Obesity is a very serious issue and I get really sick and tired of the constant message, "if you just didn't eat so much you wouldn't be fat". It's so much more complicated than that and that's the message I want to get out there. If you are struggling with your weight, the least of it is about what or how much you eat. Learning what to eat, is the easiest part of this and something completely teachable.I want to validate you if you've been overweight a week or twenty years, hear this...
Losing weight is HARD work!
It is not easy. It does not happen effortlessly. It is not something that will just happen on the back burner. There is no magic pill or diet plan that will magically sculpt your body back to where you were at 17.
It takes an entire mindset change if you're going to do it right, and I don't think there is any point to doing it any other way, because how many of you have lost weight and gained it back? That is more emotionally destructive in many ways than being overweight in the first place. It's a destructive cycle that feeds on itself and I'd discourage you from embarking on a weight loss journey unless you're willing to be realistic, be patient with yourself, and take it on like a full time job, because for a while, it will be.
When I started my new lifestyle, it wasn't about losing weight. I wanted to feel healthy. I wanted more energy. I wanted to lower my blood pressure. It's never been about the weight, that's a by product. It's coming off because I've made conscious lifestyle changes and that's where I keep my focus... MOST of the time.
However as I move along this journey, as I savor my success, as I need to buy new clothing, as my body changes, I want it more and more, the weight loss. I want to be sexy and curvaceous. I want to be healthy and tone. I want mind boggling, soul satisfying sex, which is a topic for another post. ;-)
I know that I am NOT authentically an overweight woman. This is NOT my body's true size. This body is a distortion of my true self and I know that to the depths of my soul and though I'm very comfortable in my skin, and I've even gained an enormous amount of comfortable in my body, I won't be truly happy until my body is the size it's supposed to be. As long as this area of my life isn't in sync with the rest of my authenticity, then it's a weakness, it's a stumbling block, it holds me back.
I recently got into a size 18 and I'm over the moon because this is the first time since my youngest son was born 20 years ago, that I'm in a size that doesn't start with a 2. I long to be a ten quite frankly, that's my dream size and when I get there, double digit size though it is, I'm going to be so damned pleased with myself, I'll shout it from the rooftops!I've had to learn to be my own cheerleader on this because when I first decided to get healthy, I can't tell you how many people tried to talk me out of it. I was told that I should be comfortable in my own skin and accept myself the way I was. This astounds me. Why on earth should anyone be happy being a size 28? Yes, happy with who you are as a person, happy with your family, your many blessings, but I could never be happy feeling the way I did, with my body hurting the way it did, with not being able to go long periods of time without sitting down.
I've lost 75 pounds so far and what I would say to anyone who's overweight, changing your body is totally doable! You just have to change how you interface with food. Food is the fuel that nourishes our cells, helps build muscle, strengthens our bones, sustains our organs and gives us energy. Just because we are incredibly adaptable and because the human body can extract nutrition from even the most unworthy fuel source, doesn't mean you should push that.
When we don't use food for it's true purpose, to nourish and fuel our bodies, but we medicate with it and celebrate with it and punish ourselves with it... that's when we'll see pounds start to add up and while you can go on crash diets and you can lose weight in a variety of ways, unless you change how you interact with food, the weight will always be right there, up a few pounds down a few pounds, up a lot of pounds, then the shame and guilt... you deserve better than that! You are an amazing beautiful soul and you deserve to be authentically happy. You deserve to be healthy. You deserve to have your exterior match your interior.
Because weight takes a long time to melt from our bodies, I always suggest it as one of the first steps in anyone's journey to authentic living because it also has a huge affect on your attitude and your emotional and mental energy. Also a journey towards health and weight loss, can bring up so many areas that we need healed, it can be a cathartic journey as well. So if you're looking for true beauty, then I say you have to get authentic, you can start today, change one little thing and cling to it with everything you're worth. Drink more water, cut out soda, cut out fast food, eat an apple every day... it doesn't matter what it is, just pick one thing, do it consistently, and let the change you experience motivate you to the next thing you change.
With weight, it's always one step at a time, one pound at a time, one change at a time. It's about learning that you can be happy without food, you can be sad without food, you can feel lonely without food. It's about re-calibrating your taste buds and mindset, about learning that you really like broccoli and that water's not really all that bad. It's about finding that thing you want more than the food, and using that as a lifeline.
It can be a very long journey, but every single step of it, is positively worth it.
Take this chance, challenge yourself, change your life! You positively can, I have all the faith in you in the world.
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